What She REALLY Wants for Valentine’s Day

Guys, only six weeks out from Christmas, and again you’re called on to find the perfect gift. Are you fresh out of fresh ideas? Wondering what the woman you love really wants?

I asked my female Facebook friends what gift they’d really like from their significant other. I’ve sifted through the responses, and here’s what I’ve discovered:

The love of your life wants a break from her everyday duties and responsibilities.

It may be a little time alone, it may be romantic time with you or even an outing with the whole family, but she wants undistracted time – no planning, no clean-up, and  unless she’s alone, no distracting devices.

A romantic dinner for two or with the entire family is likely to please her, but here’s the key:

YOU plan for it from start for finish.

That means reservations, prep, cooking, babysitting, transportation, clean-up, etc. Even if the meal or the evening is magical, if she’s left with a pile of dirty dishes or a frantic struggle to procure a babysitter, your gift has just lost its luster.

If you want to give her something, consider what she truly enjoys but perhaps will not buy for herself because she considers it too expensive or frivolous. It may be a book, a gift card, or something specific she’s been wanting.

** Oh, and especially if you have young children in the house, don’t underestimate the timeless value of the gift of uninterrupted sleep. **

My Take

The only thing we all have – in limited supply – is time. The best gift is spending that time in a way that is fulfilling and brings joy. It may be time alone, as a couple, or with the kids – but it’s the kind of time where memories are made.

I love chocolate, flowers, wine, jewelry, and pretty things as much as the next gal, but I want a reminder of my husband’s love. Something about which I can say, “Remember when we . . .” or “Remember when you gave me . . . ”

Maybe it’s arranging a surprise date. Babysitting and reservations are made, and the woman just has to shower and show up. Movies are great, but will you have a chance to talk, too? Maybe going someplace that will get you doing and talking would help, so you don’t slide into staring blankly at each other and talking about the kids or car repairs. A park, a museum, a tour?

Arrange for her to have some time alone. Take the kids out for hours and leave her a book (take a peek at her Goodreads or Amazon wish lists) or movie she’s been wanting, a glass of wine and some kind of food she doesn’t have to prepare herself. Or nice bath salts, candlelight, a mug of herbal tea and a custom-made Spotify playlist (or mix tape, if you want to go old-school).

Still stuck for ideas?

(Did you really think I wouldn’t mention my romance novel in a Valentine’s Day post?)


Here are snippets from some of the actual comments:

  • I like things that pertain to my crafts and hobbies. . . Things like that are better than flowers and chocolate because then I know he pays attention to what I do in my spare time.
  •  A mommy’s night “off.”
  • Books! Or better yet, an Amazon gift card.
  • An evening where I don’t have to do any of the cooking and/or planning. For example, if he cooks, I want him to buy the groceries and do the cleanup. If we were to go out, I’d like him to make the reservation and arrange for childcare.
  • Sleep! I’m not even asking for a full night! A nap would be most welcome!
  • A gift card to a bookstore with a cafe in it. It would come with strict instructions that I was to use it for “fancy coffee and pastry” for a break.
  • An opportunity to cook/bake anything I’d like, for a day, and know that I can leave a gigantic mess for someone else to clean up (and that does not mean me finding “reject” dishes/pots/pans the next day to clean up again).
  • Chocolate, champagne, a dinner cooked by Mario Batali in Italy.
  • Sleep. Or a trip to Paris . . . or somewhere tropical.
  • A fun family activity with my husband AND teenagers in which no one has any type of electronic device in their hand at any time. Dinner out, a hike in the snow, maybe a game at home. All without sneaking a look at the phone.
  • A day with no electonic device. No TV, no Facebook, no computer, his hand in mine. Take a walk and talk. Like we used to do before iPad or iAnythings.
  • A planned night out with babysitting also planned. Something I don’t have to think about!
  • Take-out with candles and wine . . . and spending the night together . . . maybe watching a movie.
  • I would love a well-planned day. I don’t what to be asked what I want, I just want it done for me. I mean like: I made breakfast, I am taking you to the museum, etc. A nice dinner as a family that doesn’t involve pizza, chicken nuggets, or a bacon cheese burger.
  • Really just something out of the ordinary.


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